I know this post has nothing to do with the baby, but the pictures were so cute I couldn't help but throw them up. I hate having a post with no pictures.
Ok, I'm not announcing this to everyone, but since this blog acts a sort of a journal, if you read it you get to know. I have always struggled with horrible anxiety and distressful thought patterns. It started when I was 17 and over the course of my life has had periods when it wasn't so bad and times when it felt pretty debilitating. For my entire adult life I have had issues handling stress. The weird part is that I remember these issues coming on very suddenly and I attributed it to the big life changes that were starting to happen in preparation for college.
Well lately, I have struggled to the point where my moods and actions have had quite the effect on my family and so after years of poking and prodding by my husband, I finally went to see a therapist. I have been 3 times and finally have an understanding of what is going on. Turns out that the Dr. thinks I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have wondered for some time if I might be OCD but my obsessions and compulsions don't fit in the "common" categories. Also, I have periods where the symptoms are pretty bad but then they will go away for a while. I figured that I couldn't be OCD because I just wasn't that sick. Plus the mental illness that runs in my family is Bi-Polar Disorder. Well, turns out OCD runs in my family too.
Knowing what the problem is won't change anything instantly. I may not even need to be medicated, that is yet to be seen. I was on drugs for a while before I had Kimberly and they were indeed very helpful. But I was in a really bad place then and I'm not that bad right now. Of course, if I was on meds, I'd probably be less up and down with my day to day problems.
But I will continue to see the therapist for a while to do some cognitive behavior therapy and try
to learn some good coping skills and reverse some of the obsessive patterns.
As it turns out, many of the things that are being suggested are things that I already did to help myself. Maybe I should charge myself an hourly rate for being my own therapist for the last 14 years. Do you think the insurance would pay a claim where I billed myself? :)
3 comments:
I admire you for being so open and honest about these things. More people than you realize face the same issues. I've always thought you were great anyway. Also, yes, I am excited to be close to family and to see you guys over the 4th of July.
Thanks Laura. I love you. I wish closer to family meant close enough to us to hang out more. :)
Love your guts Robin. I also admire your honesty....and you are still the amazing person I have always loved.
Can't wait to see you guys over the 4th
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